Well I felt a surge of fear and pain when I saw you and I heard your voice
I know you prob'ly think of me as a foolish naïve choice

and I hope that in your mind I will remain a stain from another distant time
I hope you always think I never learned

I hope you've healed completely from the things that we went through
I hope you've now dismissed most of the burns

Lord knows that most of all I hope I never can recall all the details of the things I did that fall
--
and I hope the speech I sent you never went through
I hope the speech I sent you never came

I hope the speech I sent you never made it to your end
I hope your view of me just stays the same
--
but sometimes when I'm feeling strange I write some words to you
using all of the volatile love that I desperately clung to

and sometimes I still try to pick the good things from the bad ones
and claw at the dirt in the graves that I put there for a reason
--
well its been a few years now, since I woke up from my berserk mode
its been a while since I managed to organize my doubt

but the memory is still clear of sitting naked and blood stained
like a werewolf in the morning filled with fear

lord knows that most of all I'm still wholeheartedly appalled
at the things I can remember from that fall
--
and I hope the speech I sent you never went through
I hope the speech I sent you never came

hope the speech I sent you never made it to your end
I hope your view of me just stays the same
--
but sometimes when I'm feeling strange I write some words to you
using all of the volatile love that I desperately clung to

and sometimes I still try to pick the good things from the bad ones
and claw at the dirt in the graves that I put there for a reason
--
maybe I did you a favor by severing your trust
maybe I helped you choose a better path

but honestly I doubt it that's just excuses for bad behavior
and me trying to justify my past

so many goddamn people I screwed over back then
so many victims who've healed faster than me

I've sworn off all self pity even though it's so damn peaceful
Now I've just gotta learn to make peace with reality