I got an issue, with tense lord how I misuse, this head spending the present just reaching around in the past and all these questions that I make my destination and my fate seems like the present always ends up in dead last and here, here and now passes by too fast I sit here seething in this place I sit here covered up with hate but I'm sitting in the chair that I saved up for and when I look down at myself I see a self constructed hell whenever I get there I just need more but here, here and now this is where we are here and now, this is where we are - I can't, get me out of here (repeat) - there was a dog house in the yard every so often it gets hard to remember how I lived without this viewpoint I bet there's tons of things near me that'd help me out if I could see but it seems right now ain't just a reference point no, here and now this is where it counts there were a thousand other ways I could've landed here today there are a thousand changes I'd make to that night there was a frozen football game I know its probably not the same 'cause distance always muddies up out sight but here and now is really far too clear here and now this is where we are here and now is a damn good place to start

(verse 1) hey boy you got a few hours of gas and you're movin' in the right direction don't know if the fuel will last but you've got a lot of forward motion think about all the turns you've passed are you sure you made the right decision don't know what you want but you wanna know what you really want how you ever gonna be happy? how you ever gonna be free? how you ever gonna be happy when you think happiness is a cheat? (chorus) only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank left (verse 2) red eyes from the black caffeine but the coffee really isn't helping you try, try to be a machine but you always have to give up something can't clean all the dirty lines can't see, can't fix your thinking sunset y'aint got much time hope you did all that you could with what you had how you ever gonna be happy? how you ever gonna be free? how you ever gonna be happy when you think happiness is a cheat? (chorus) (outro) only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank left only 'bout a half a tank

(chorus) you found out, we can't predict decisions you found out, the que sera sera's I helped you in curing your illusions but God it must have hurt when the forecast turned out wrong (verse 1) call me up when I feel down, tell me there's still good around show me movies on her bed, about Australians and their dead I never wanted to offend, but none of this will change the end you'd give your trust and time to me, but my fear took priority (chorus) (verse 2) I still recall that frigid house, we stayed there once when school was out that white unpainted splotch of wall, was painted new with all our talks my time there I remember well, but all your love couldn't hold back hell I promise you I'll save this fire, I'll learn like you did from that scar (last chorus) you found out, we can't predict decisions you found out, the que sera sera's I helped you, in curing your illusions but God it must have hurt, when your hopes all turned out wrong

Timothy Weaver woke up on a Sunday and recognized something had died Timothy Weaver was thinking about all the years he had been with his wife Well, Timothy's wife was a pharmacist down at the Walgreens across from the mall Timothy Weaver was wondering if he had ever loved her at all the Weaver's had met back in '73 back when Barnaby Jones was still new Timothy married Annette 'cause he thought that Annette was the best he could do the years they went by and then Timothy realized he'd closed off whole worlds to himself Timothy Weaver woke up on a Sunday and left her to fend for herself - with time values change options fade away sometimes the price don't get paid till it's too late - Timothy Weaver went off to Atlanta to look for a life he'd enjoy Timothy Weaver decided to see if the Coke Company would employ Timmy found out that the job for his skill set was working the mailroom downstairs Timothy's mailbox was quite full of bills so he ended up laboring there He couldn't find love in his time in Atlanta He couldn't start where he'd left off He couldn't explain to the people he talked to why Annette and their life weren't enough Timothy Weaver was now independent and free of his loyal dead weight but Timothy hadn't felt self-confidence since that day when he closed Annette's gate - with time values change options fade away sometimes the price don't get paid till it's too late - Tim never fell past the point of return he had made a good wage all his life But Timothy always would wonder about what his life would be like with his wife so Timothy called up Annette and he found out she still worked across from the mall she'd met a sweet guy and they'd married eachother their child would be four in the fall Timothy warmed up a bath for himself he had had hard day at his work he sat there and wondered about his Annette and if he should have settled for her then Timothy wondered if she'd been the burden he realized it might have been him Timothy's landlord woke up that next Sunday to hear that his tenant had died

On a brittle yellow paper, scrawled across the page is the remnant of a man who never reached my age faded graphite clinging on after all of this time faded memory of the fact that signature was mine like a relic unearthed from a world not understood hard to comprehend that someone once thought that was good haven't much in common with the child who wrote it down, on a plastic children's table, not far from the ground -- ain't it strange how signatures change ain't it odd how we sign our own names ain't it strange how my signature changed I must remain aware that it's prob'ly not done changing yet -- son is learning how to write his name all by himself now I'm signing slips to try and hold onto my health our hands always tremble when we try to hold the pen his 'cause he's just learning, and mine 'cause I'm half dead someday soon he'll sign a paper punctuate my life someday he will write his newborn's name with his dear wife -- ain't it strange how signatures change ain't it great how they don't stay the same ain't it strange how my signature's changed won't you sign on the line so it takes some more time to forget -- and stacks of cardboard boxes filed away in some warehouse filled with files that document their lives and every single record every single case in there was signed by someone from another time the notaries and lawyers who helped put all of them there some are old and some have long since died and you might never die in all the places your name sits on the off chance it will still be recognized -- tombstones dot the earth in any city you're around epitaphs get blurry as they're covered up by ground I recall a graveyard in the town where I grew up overtime besieged by busy roads and tattoo shops old names are cemented in the Hollywood sidewalks pavement tombstones without meaning growing with the clock they will put me in the ground I'll sign my name no more and who I was or what I did will fade to blurry lore -- ain't it strange how signatures change ain't it great how they don't stay the same ain't it strange how my signature changed I must remain aware that I am not the first or the last

(verse 1) brace yourself, for another round against all the maintenance that goes along with being a living thing you won't get applause, you won't get a congrats there's no pride for you to take in it, there's no pat on the back 'cause all us folks have to suck it up sometimes and do some things who's only prize is staying alive and if that's not enough for you, don't be surprised if nobody does it for you and you starve to death and die (chorus) and so you choke it down even though you're not hungry 'cause the things that seem the hardest are the things you really need and the others watch and stare as you gag on every piece and you know it's not too pretty, but it's past time that you eat and the woman checks your plate, as you're getting up to leave and you think about the next time you'll eat when you're not hungry (verse 2) make yourself get up and face another day 'cause the path to feeling better starts with going a different way find it in yourself before you look in someone else 'cause if you won't do it for you, who is it you're trying to help and when it all is said and done, don't be surprised if you end up kind of happy, that you opened up your eyes (chorus) -and it's time to eat ( Interlude ) ( verse 3 ) hold your course get up again and do the same 'cause you may have made the spark but you've still got to tend the flame there's no end to it, there's no glorious mountain peak It's a climb that you'll continue every hour and every week and if, a long the way you feel yourself get tired and have to stop and rest before you can go higher just make sure that when you wake you don't ever forget there is always somewhere higher somewhere you haven't seen yet (last chorus) and so you choke it down, even though you're not hungry 'cause the things that seem the hardest, are the things you really need and the others watch and stare, as you gag on every piece and you know that it's not pretty, but it's past time that you eat and it's you who checks your plate 'cause you know it's what you need and you think about the next time you'll eat when you're not hungry

Well I felt a surge of fear and pain when I saw you and I heard your voice I know you prob'ly think of me as a foolish naïve choice and I hope that in your mind I will remain a stain from another distant time I hope you always think I never learned I hope you've healed completely from the things that we went through I hope you've now dismissed most of the burns Lord knows that most of all I hope I never can recall all the details of the things I did that fall -- and I hope the speech I sent you never went through I hope the speech I sent you never came I hope the speech I sent you never made it to your end I hope your view of me just stays the same -- but sometimes when I'm feeling strange I write some words to you using all of the volatile love that I desperately clung to and sometimes I still try to pick the good things from the bad ones and claw at the dirt in the graves that I put there for a reason -- well its been a few years now, since I woke up from my berserk mode its been a while since I managed to organize my doubt but the memory is still clear of sitting naked and blood stained like a werewolf in the morning filled with fear lord knows that most of all I'm still wholeheartedly appalled at the things I can remember from that fall -- and I hope the speech I sent you never went through I hope the speech I sent you never came hope the speech I sent you never made it to your end I hope your view of me just stays the same -- but sometimes when I'm feeling strange I write some words to you using all of the volatile love that I desperately clung to and sometimes I still try to pick the good things from the bad ones and claw at the dirt in the graves that I put there for a reason -- maybe I did you a favor by severing your trust maybe I helped you choose a better path but honestly I doubt it that's just excuses for bad behavior and me trying to justify my past so many goddamn people I screwed over back then so many victims who've healed faster than me I've sworn off all self pity even though it's so damn peaceful Now I've just gotta learn to make peace with reality

(verse 1) give me the sight to see the good in other's hearts give me the strength to see the bad help me to understand why they are who they are help them to be all that they can If I should feel an infection in my soul some spreading seed of hate to cripple me If I should feel my anger swallowing me whole fill me with love and set me free (chorus) this is my prayer that I will feel pain and that it keeps me awake this is my battle cry against all of the rage fill me with love for all my days this is my prayer that I feel the pain and that it keeps me awake this is my battle cry against all of the rage fill me with love inside this cage (verse 2) let me hold firm when all I want to do is run let me be more than I expect let me stay focused on the things that really count and keep me planted on the ground if I should feel an emptiness inside my chest if there is no way they can help if I should slip and fall and lose all my progress fill me with love even for myself (chorus) this is my prayer that I feel the pain and that it keeps me awake this is my battle cry against all of the rage fill me with love for all my days this is my prayer that I will feel pain and that it keeps me awake this is my battle cry against all of the rage fill me with love till I decay (outro) this is my prayer that I will feel pain and that it keeps me awake the love and pain will help me not forget my name fill me with love for what's at stake